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   Home > Big Mamas Nightclub > Info > History

R E P O R T   B Y   K A S   V A L E N T I N E

This was a report that Kas Valentine wrote up and posted on the Stratics Europa Board

A Night With A Big Moma....

Unfortunately due to having already made plans for Saturday night I had about half an hour's free time, so could only manage a swift appearence at the famous nightclub. Despite this however I had a very pleasant time. Allow me to recount my memory of it.....

Having no rune for the location and not having a clue of where the gaters were, I recalled into trinsic and started to make my way there by foot. As I passed the Trinsic Meeting Hall I saw a Lady doing something, I wondered whether she may be a gater, but carried on walking to the club regardless. That's logic for yer huh? *chortles*

So I leave Trinsic via the main gates and make my way towards the coast/riverside through the forest to the west of Trinsic. As I made may way through the tree's a lumberjack some short distance behind me was suddenly set upon by several ravenous squirrels. The motive behind this crime is as yet undetermined but it is thought that the chopping drove the squirrels to nuts. *chortles*

Anyhoo, I ignored the screams of said lumberjack and made my way round the river to the Moma castle. Cripes there wasn't half a crowd outside, bottles of cider and shady looking cigarettes were rife and being constantly passed around by the queues awaiting their entrance. Having visited the Moma establishment in the past, when it was more of a shoppe than a club I retained my loyalty card thus managing to avoid the queue which stretched to the far reaches of Skara Brae.

Coming through the main doors I found myself within some kind of crazy dance floor type area, fabtabulously decorated I must say, and most of all, it had decks, so instantly I stepped up to the DJ's podium. And then MC Valentine was in session, what did I play.....AC/DC, Sisters of Mercy and sommat else I've forgotten, but it was a good, albeit short, set! The crowd were humming, and I had to fight my way through screaming female fans as their voiced their adoration. *grins*

Making my way upstairs I began to spot familiar faces. I spotted a young and resplendant Valfreyja roaming through the upper catacombs of the club and despite calling her by my specially selected name for her, Vallers, she breezed past me a look of glazed intention in her eyes. I was then accosted by a young vagabond mistress by the name of Emma, with her threats of rotten fish I was most intimidated, I had to visit the little boys room for a swift change of underwear. *chuckles*

The bar was a warzone complete with 80mm cannons and Challenger tanks, so I immeadiately ruled out all hope of getting a cool beverage. I wandered out onto the balcony taking in the fresh air, inadvertently swallowed a bee, and continued walking as though all was well despite immense crippling pain. Nursing my throat and sounding like a a flu ridden Barry White I strolled into the games room where Cepeleon and Kai were enjoying a game of snooker. I noted their prowess on said table until Kai decided to rip the cloth, which he swore was an accident, but as me and Cepples know, it was a cleverly constructed ploy to distract attention while the real Kai looted the safe of Moma's nightclub. The Kai I spoke to was actually a Cyborg, and American made one at that, hence the ripping of the cloth.

Giving Cepples a pat on the back to show I understood the troubles caused by playing snooker with an artificial lifeform, I carried on with my stroll, heading for some kind of event thing that was going on on the northern balcony. It seemed Valfreyja was in white rabbit mode that night as once again I saw her dash in a northern direction, destination unknown. Arriving on the balcony I spotted a young Nynaeve sitting with a price emblazoned across her chest, some kind of auction was going on. Naturally young Nyn sought the highest bidder, and though I didn't stick around I'm sure she received it. I gave her my salutations, and greeted another on that balcony, that persons name escapes me however, they often do that, theres a hole in my brain where they trickle out and fall from my ears. Alas.

I then returned inwards to the central hive of activity, where I wandered past a shark eyed Orangebeard his pupils adopting a determined stare straight ahead, seems he was waiting to be sold along with a large queue of men, like lambs to the slaughter bless them. I then I took part in a pleasant conversation with the famous Carad and Andy The Crazy and the infamous Feersumx. The conversation progressed at a gentle pace until someone disrespected one of Feer's 'womens' at which point he decided to "jack that punkass ghetto style, a'give that mark such a slap upside his dumb head he be wishing his daddio were Mike Tyson". Having had my share of lowdown gutter street jive'talkin' I began to make my way downstairs. On my way I passed a young Falcore, dressed in shining gold platemail and looking quite the dapper gentleman. I passed my regards and seem to remember him asking if I remembered him, I believe I met him in Spiritwood once when I was on business, but memory does not always serve correctly.

I wandered down the stairs, and on through the corridors of the palatial establishment until I came to the entrance boothes, and who do I see opposite me? None other than my cohort in mindless banter, Wikkr! Carad had also came downstairs and sat aside young Wikk's greeting the customers, I had a brief chat with the fellows then moved on as I had to be leaving shortly.

My evening ended in the dance floor region, with Rebbie TOV and Nomester (fine young ladies with personalities that match the quality of their hugging abilities), Ingo and several others whose names unfortunately undergo the fate of my bad short term memory, but heck if i started taking notebooks to nightclubs I might as well start shopping for polyester tank tops and biro holders. *chortles* Anyhoo, my apologies to those who are victim of my memory, but I hope everyone had a nice evening after I left (not that I was the spirit of the place not implying that at all!) and I'd like to thank 'Big Moma' for a fine (if somewhat brief for me) evening, and I hope to see more like it.

I'd love to hear other peoples tales of the Moma night, as I didn't appreciate the entire shindig only a chunk of it. *smiles*

Yours,
Kas Valentine.